and dear all!
Yes, thank you so much, I see and appreciate what both you and Steven are saying about the importance of being steady and finding the right pace, which may also change of course…
So, what I am trying to do is to keep any kind of activity that I call Dharma practice – like putting some effort in being vigilant, or remembering the buddhas and the teachers, the reality of them – right there, as much as possible on the surface of awareness; most of the time these are below, under the traffic, under the whirling thoughts and the automatism of words and responses; the actual formal activity of meditation I like to think of as the infrastructure that supports and contains all that; and when I feel I am doing it with less concentration – and so less connection – the structure becomes less stable, less flexible, less reliable, less useful in what is for me – at this stage/moment of my mind – it’s basic function: of protecting my mind from these automatism, from this lack of vigilance.
Really Dharma practice is for me a light on what is happening and how can I be in that moment, what is the best I can be in that moment; and formal meditation is the power station. As I see the preciousness of this amazing tool I tend to panic when I see I cannot control it… and maybe this is the problem, trying to use it as one would use a hammer or such tool!
Thank you for for your thoughts!